97 of the best Valentine’s Day quotes for all the family - romantic, rude and funny (2024)

These Valentine's Day quotes are sure to raise a laugh or smile for all the family - depending on who it's for and what mood you're aiming to achieve.

Whilst the origins of Valentine's Day didn't exactly start out as romantic, time and tradition have evolved the event into the love-fest we know and celebrate today. And after you've showered them in love, affection and a sentimental gift, it's always customary to give your romantic other that all-important card.

Sharing how you feel on paper can be a daunting task for many, so to take the pressure out of your penmanship we've rounded up a series of Valentine's Day quotes to inspire. More original than those customary Valentine's Day card messages and shorter than some Valentine's Day poems, these quotes will help you reach just the right tone when writing your Valentine's Day card there's something for everyone...

Romantic Valentine's Day quotes

1. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depths and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and idea grace." - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 43
2. "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." - A.A. Milne,Pooh's Little Instruction Book
3. "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." - Mr Darcy, Pride and Prejudice.
4. "There are darknesses in life, and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights." - Bram Stoker, Dracula

5. "I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life." - Ian McEwan, Atonement
6. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." - Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
7. "There is no pretending. I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's life after that, I'll love you then." - Cassandra Clare,The Mortal Instruments
8. "We loved with a love that was more than love." - Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee
9. "You have been the last dream of my soul." - Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
10. "I would love to say that you make me weak in the knees but to be quite upfront and completely truthful you make my body forget it has knees at all." - Tyler Knott Gregson, Love Language, Chasers of the Light
11. "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." - Maya Angelou
12. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." - Aristotle
13. "The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along." - Rumi
14. "Where there is love there is life." - Mahatma Gandhi
15. "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." - Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
16. "Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning." - Paulo Coelho, Aleph
17. "When you're lucky enough to meet your one person, then life takes a turn for the best. It can't get better than that." - John Krasinski
18. "Wounds heal. Love lasts. We remain." - Kristin Hannah,The Nightingale
19. "If I know what love is, it is because of you." - Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund
20. "Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will." - Elaine Davis
21. "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love." - William Shakespeare, Hamlet
22. "…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad." - Homer, The Iliad
23. "Having begun to love you, I love you for ever – in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself." - Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D’Urbervilles
24. "Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it." - Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

25. "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything." - Katharine Hepburn
26. "Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." - Maya Angelou
27. "You fill my heart with gladness. Take away all my sadness. Ease my trouble, that's what you do" - Rod Stewart, Have I Told You Lately
28. "Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm, and your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me but to love you and the way you look tonight." - Frank Sinatra, The Way You Look Tonight
29. "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Roy Croft
30. "For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home." - Stephanie Perkins
31. "You. You are my good days." - F.D. Soul
32. "It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them." - Agatha Christie
33. "Each time you happen to me all over again." - Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence
34. "I love you much most beautiful darling more than anyone on the earth and I like you better than everything in the sky." - E.E. Cummings
35. "If you find me not within you, you will never find me. For I have been with you, from the beginning of me." - Rumi
36. "Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet." - Plato
37. "Forever can never be long enough for me, to feel like I've had long enough with you." - Train, Marry Me
38. "If you're lost, you can look and you will find me. Time after time." - Cyndi Lauper, Time after time
39. "I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of the Earth for you. To make you feel my love." - Bob Dylan, Make You Feel My Love
40. "All that you are is all that I’ll ever need." - Ed Sheeran, Tenerife Sea
41. "In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight." - Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman

Funny Valentine's Day quotes

42. "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." – Albert Einstein
43. “Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on Feb. 13. Get back together on the 15th.” —David Letterman
44. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." - Chris Rock.
45. "Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell
46. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey
47. "Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott,The Office
48. "Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from." - Nora Ephron
49. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." - Billy Crystal
50. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." – Joan Crawford
51. "It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes." - Lucille Ball
52. "Remember, yourValentine’s cardshows you care enough to send the very best even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words." - Melanie White
53. "A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." - Tim Allen
54. "A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month." - Dax Shepard
55. "Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists." - James Garner
56. "Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock." - Jewish Proverb

Rude Valentine's Day quotes

57. "My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?" - unknown
58. "I want to feel your sweet embrace. But don’t take that paper bag off of your face." - unknown
59. "Love is letting the other one know when you're going for a poo." - unknown
60. "Is that Cupid’s arrow in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" - unknown
61. "I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your ass." - unknown
62. "I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime." - unknown
63. "You make me feel like a unicorn – wild and horny." - unknown
64. "Lingerie is half-off in stores today, but in my bedroom, it’s going to be 100 percent off." - unknown
65. "Do you know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day? Well, I’m gonna show you tonight, over and over and over…" - unknown
66. "Valentine’s Day is about to become a religious holiday, because you’re gonna be screaming, “Oh God!” all night." - unknown
67. "Tonight, you’re going to need a safe word, and the safe word is 'be mine'." - unknown
68. "Cards aren’t the only things that are going to be opening tonight." - unknown
69. "Your heart isn’t the only one of your organs I want to touch tonight." - unknown
70. "If you don’t like Valentine’s Day because it’s corny… how about, instead, we make it p*rn-y?" - unknown

Traditional 'Roses are Red, Violets are blue' quotes

71. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, be my valentine? I love you!"
72. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m unoriginal, this is all I can do."
73. "Roses are red, violets are blue, let’s get together and make dreams come true."
74. "Roses are red, violets are blue, is it hot in here? Or is it just you?"
75. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, if I know what love is, it’s because of you."
76. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, I had never thought of love until I met you."
77. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, ain’t never gonna love no one more than you!"
78. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, here’s wishing us luck in everything that we do."
79. "Roses are red, violets are blue, wine costs less than a dinner for two."
80. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m heading to bed. Would you like to join too?"
81. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I never knew love until I found you!"
82. "Roses are red, violets are blue, you know I've got my eyes on you!"
83. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to kiss your lips the whole night through."
84. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, the first time I saw you, my heart knew."

85. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am obsessed, and I’m stalking you!"
86. "Roses are red, violets are blue, and I’ll never be blue while I have you."
87. "Roses are red violets are blue, I hate poetry but I’m into you."
88. "Roses are red, Violets are blue my heart skips a beat when I’m laying next to you."
89. "Roses are red Violets are blue…Stars are beautiful to look at and shine just like you."
90. "Roses are red, violets are blue, may I have this dance with you?"
91. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, you’re a man, I’m a woman, you know what to do!"
92. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, you snore like a bear, but I’m still into you."
93. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to spend the rest of the night making love to you."
94. "Roses are red, violets are blue, let’s order pizza, so I can chill and watch Netflix with you."
95. "Roses are red, violets are blue, my coffee is bitter, just like you."
96. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, hello my future husband, I am madly in love with you!"
97. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, every passing day, I am falling even more in love with you."

In other Valentine's day news, we've rounded up the best flower delivery services ahead of the event. There's the best Valentine's Day gifts for kids too, or try these Valentine's Day cake recipes.